SMS Jokes

A little girl to her mother: "Mom! i have come to know the boy next door have a pennes like a peanut"
Mom: " Do you mean its little"
girl: " No Mom! Its salty."

Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.

A 90 yr old man started making love with his 85 yr wife, he started sucking her breats and after few seconds the man expired, GUESS WHY?
Autoposy Report : death due to expired milk.

A guy donated blood to his girlfriend. After a while they broke up and he wanted it back. The girl threw a pad at him and said. i'll pay u back in monthly instalments.

Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula ke laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai

Patient: Doctor aap ko yakeen hai ke mujhay Namoonia (pneumonia) hai, kyun ke pichlay dino aik doctor meri friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi.
Munna: Haan ray meray ko pakka yaqeen hai, tu namoonia say hi maray ga.

Romance Mathematics
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

What a bad day 4 elisa! her mom & dad went out 2 a church so she decided 2 invite her boyfriend Dipopo 2 come with his friend Khali bcoz she's left alone @ home.The 2 arrived in time, her parents came back unexpectedly 4rom Church @ she told Dipopo 2 hide under the bed & khali ot top of the wadrop@ her bedroom, both of them went 2 her bedroom. Her dad asked how was her day? & she said,"mmmmm,,,, fine" & her Mom said,"The 1 who is on top knows everythin(refering 2 God with a finger)" emmidiatly Khali had that, he jumped down from the wadrop & said, the 1 who knows everything is the 1 under the bed(Dipopo)............

Sadham meets kajol n asks her " how is ur life ?" , kajol says " Kabie khushi kabie gham!" n kajol asks Sadham " how about u? " n he says " kabie BUSH kabie BOMB"!!!!!!!
Two snakes meet each other..
First snake:I hope I am not poisonous.
Second snake:Why?
First snake:Because I bit my lip!

question:NISAR kaise paida hua ????
answer:jawani janeman haseen dilruba mil do dil jawan NISAR hogaya